What I Learned While Living In A Portuguese Commune

Lessons from communal living in Europe from a solo female traveller.

Feelings of loneliness are at a higher rate today than they have ever been in the history of humankind. Estranged from the communal and tribal way in which we have always lived, modern societies are becoming increasingly individualistic and asocial. Groups of people around the world have woken up to the unnatural ways of our individualistic lifestyle and how unsustainable it is , both for humans and for our Earth.

As a result, they have chosen to come together into intentional communities; small, localised communities of persons or families with common values and a willingness to share land and responsibilities. I had the chance to be part of one of these communities on a land tucked away into a dense and unrelenting forest in Portugal.

Here, I wish to share the impressions and wisdoms I have gathered from communal living.

ACCEPTANCE

First and foremost, I was stricken by the utterly open hearted way in which this group of strangers welcomed me into this shared space. My first impression was that of acceptance. I felt truly embraced as fresh loving eyes settled into mine, willing to forgive and forget anything or anyone I had been before my bare feet touched this soil. As if born anew, I felt no judgement lay a darkening veil upon me, the only set expectation was that I had come to this place with good and pure intention. These beings had rid themselves from the fear and prejudgement which we often entertain upon encountering a new face. In awe of this, the first lesson I chose to integrate was to learn to accept an individual as she or he is in the here and now.

OBSERVATION

This unconditional gift, however, cannot exist without respect. I have gathered that understanding respect comes from observation. This was the second capacity I have cultivated through communal living. As a community which works and lives together, it is of the utmost importance that you know where your own skills lie, where your help is needed, and when you better get out of the way and allow others to do what they do best. With no place for ego, communal living only works if every person engages their sensitivity and knows to observe moments where they can get involved and learn, and moments where they must allow other members to do a better job. I have learnt to act in consequence of observation, letting go of my personal interests to prioritise communal interests.

SELF CARE

This does not, however, mean that I had to let go of my personal identity and apply all my efforts to the greater communal good. Much to the contrary, time alone was encouraged and I often went off into the mountain upon which we dwelled to come back hours later. On days where I needed to reconnect and did not participate in the work, there were no questions asked, I was met with love and respect. I learnt that I ought never to justify myself to anyone for taking time for myself.

CREATION

The work, however, was enlivening. I learnt how to create infrastructure from what the land would grant us. A machete in hand, I braved through the woods and teared down young eucalyptus trees which we then weaved into walls for our outdoor compost toilet. My bare feet mushed together cob in a playful dance, which my bare hands then applied to the walls of our new kitchen. I understood that everything needed is within reach in our lands, that making things with my body brought me into a meditative state like no other, and I learnt to trust in the capacities of my human vessel.

I saw the playfulness in communal creation and the gracefulness in which female and male energies interacted as I watched our men monkeying around the scaffoldings of the communal space they were building as the women and children looked up in pure amusement. Through reconnecting with free individuals I learned how to play, how to listen to my inner-child, and allow her to guide my hands & hips. I understood that this granted me pure happiness.

VULNERABILITY

The most precious lesson of all: unity happens through raw vulnerability. As compared to other forms of living, communal living means that the emotions that move through you are seen by all. Allowing myself to go through healing in this space, I have understood that every time you allow yourself to be seen, no matter how ugly, you will be loved deeper. Through weekly sharing circles I learned how to communicate and hold space for the emotions of others. I learned to hear without trying to fix whatever was wrong but truly listen and empathize from my heart space.

In that time atop the Portuguese mountains, I felt accepted, able, and creative. I felt held and seen. I learned that utter strangers can come together and create something beautiful when they stay true to the commitment of improving themselves to become better humans. I learnt that togetherness is the most natural way of living.